10. Youre totally on the same page. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Unlikely, but worth a shot. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. . If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. 79. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. Your hair looks great! So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. Image: wikimedia commons 6. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. I suggest you do a little soul searching. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? 1. Not Bad. 86. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. 29. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Moving in with Roommates? You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. I was actually talking to my friend". 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. How to Respond to An Insult With Humor? 41+ Best Comebacks Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. 10. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. 82. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" "Alright. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. I cant really complain, but I will still try. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. I will leave that up to your imagination. 38. You don't need to say it. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Boom. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? You look tired. 69. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. 1. Required fields are marked *. 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. Here's another way to respond to your crush. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. Maybe their roommate was sick. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. 12. 80. It can be good to just say it how it is. Is your family tree a cactus? 70. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . 24. 2. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. However, I dont recall anything about morons. 11. 81. Youre worse. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. It must have been a long, lonely journey. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. "Any day above ground is a good day. 11. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. Thank you Fred. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 96. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Privacy Policy. The answer is simple. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. . Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Have you been thinking? Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). 20 Hilarious Things Actually Said in Court Best Life Just Smile And Nod Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. I'm happy! One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. 2. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. funny response to are you still alive - hazrentalcenter.com On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! - Anonymous. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. Hmmph. 15. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. It could always have been worse. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. How Am I Still Alive. Spiritually? Pick your struggle. It's Okay. Some people spend all their time on their phone. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" You might just find one. Youre not as bad as everyone says. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? He was a good OP, of impeccable character. Not. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. 32. Are you serious? It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. I favour the "How am I what?" Congrats, guys! Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. 53. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. Do you have a minute? If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Have you met food? Because you havent put a ring on it yet. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. 99. Read more about Martin here. Whats with all these questions? No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. 13. Are those space pants? Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. What should I doI like you too much. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". a fate worse than death." 1. Are you Jamaican? 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. 67. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. Because your ass is out of this world! 61. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns Are you still alive? Follow for more funny content!! #fyp #bask You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. Best "How Are You?" Answers. 19. (Explained). It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. I dont think youre stupid. 2. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. What's your sign? Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! 8. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. Its too small to be out there all alone. 12. I just woke up like that one day. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. No, not really. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. Because they are already taking their time. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. Feeling confident? Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. The police? Does the new one work any better? Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) Keep calm and be awesome. This one kills me! Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Everyone has a different sense of humor. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. 65+ Funny Responses to Everyday Questions! - Self Development Journey I hope you like some of them. Keep talking. 7. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. Canva. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. You may join me, though. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Your email address will not be published. Best 45 seconds of my life. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. Still with us. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. 57. 83. This one is bound to get a laugh. Going strong. (This line came from the cartoon show. 48. But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. 1. 25. That's boyfriend material. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Not bad. 4. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Just look what happened there! You have an old soul. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. Sorry, life. But it can be funny. Hope you're well". If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. 64. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. There are nosy people everywhere! Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Otherwise, we would still be with them today. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. 2. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Holy s**t, you can see me?! Im sorry. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes Im jealous of people who dont know you. Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. 3. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. What's your favourite "I'd rather die" response alternative? Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. This one is funny when you havent said anything. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. Shane from The L Word? 75. 35 Best Replies To "I Miss You" (Cute & Friendly) - Grammarhow At minding my own business? Im single by choice. 4. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Socioeconomically? 76. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. I'm used to it, anyway. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". Most of the time, that is not true. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. 52. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. 65. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! 100+ Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude - LovePanky I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Im always there when I need me. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? A real low-life. 92. 2. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. Are you going to marry me? 16. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. 1. What Can Be the Worst Epic Responses To I Love You? - Bonobology.com Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Liked what you just read? Everything is always better on payday right!? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Im Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY 59. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. 150+ Funny and Witty Answers to the Question "How Are You?" When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. To text, most of us need our thumbs. 17. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Follow for more funny content!! Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? 12. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond.
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