we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

having sex with someone you dont know that well. The idea that he actually said I would prefer if you had an abortion is laughable. And water. Her body, her choice, he had NOTHING to do with it. If you are so against men having to pay for a child they dont want that was nonetheless created by their penis couldnt you make this issue a hell of a lot easier by just telling your male friends to wrap it up? Dude and LW split, Dude meets Lady, Dude and Lady go home together. He says he told her hes not happy about this pregnancy and didnt want a baby and asked her to abort as he was 40 years old. Coke doesnt have to visit you in the hospital and make sure youre happy. I dont think anyone thinks hes an ass for having sex with someone after a split. And I tend to agree that with certain situations, men end up with the raw end of the deal. Girls dropped the single "So Typically Now" way back in July of last year, it was clear Meg Remy's next outing would continue the wild ride kicked off when . Just like we trust people when they say they got tested? I hope the LW takes note of the fact that Amandas comment currently has 61 likes. Or so so many of you all keep saying. in whether or not a child is a result here is what all you men should do at like age 18 or whatever. Are you kidding? There are any number of cases where under-age males, 12 years old, 14 years old, 16 years old, get hit for child support because the female teacher who statutorily RAPED them got pregnant. Homosexual couples dont HAVE to adopt. He must be a complete scumbag, because no one ever has sex without a condom unless they intend to have children or are scumbags. Malarky. Regret can feel even worse than heartbreak. reader, confused.i.is+, writes (25 January 2008): All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft. April 9, 2012, 2:14 pm. April 10, 2012, 9:36 am. April 9, 2012, 2:44 pm. Seriously. So the man in there He should probably act responsibly too. Because, since you cannot prevent pregnancy and you cannot prevent sexual transmission of disease, I see no other way to look at it. Here he chose not to wrap it up now he made a child. April 11, 2012, 11:50 am. So, you go back to where you started, and then he hits you with another bombshell. Okay, Tim. Also, if the other woman keeps the baby, this is going to provide significant insight into her boyfriends character that will help her make her decision. Its not the mans moral fault that he didnt think he would be roped into parenthood by a singular sexual encounter when he was told she was on the Pill.. People think LW is out of line, because she has no right to be pissed at this women for wanting to keep a child, and no right to make up reasons why she is having this baby in the first place. Loved this guy, things were not working out, cos he was fucking around with other girls. lets_be_honest This dude barebacked some girl, knocked her up, demanded she abort, and then said he wouldnt take responsibility for his child. Like being pregnant isnt massively uncomfortable. 99% of women would not blame the other woman, baselessly accuse her of trying to trap her bf, be angry that someone she has no relationship with has chosen not have an abortion per their wishes, treat this woman as if she is solely responsible for child she only helped to conceive. Dude, thats seriously out of line. Thats what youre always nattering about. is significantly higher than the risk of contracting HIV, which is actually not all that contagious. Its like people that think women become foster parents for the money. A woman who is raped is stuck with the agonizing choice of getting an abortion, or carrying a child to term. What Your Breakup Will Tell You About Your Ex-Girlfriend - Luvze Im pretty sure the guy is being called scum because of his shitty attitude towards the pregnancy and the unborn child. But being on the pill is not akin to saying I will choose to have an abortion should a pregnancy occur. You dont really get a say in this matter. Because the bf in question was part of the creation of the child. Theyre eating each other alive, and theyre doing it up hill both ways, in three feet of snow, with no shoes on! By that logic, virtually every dude on the planet is an idiot. I always try to take what the LW says at face value though, and a lot of times I turn out to be very wrong when the updates come around, but I still always think its better to react to what they said not what I think they said. Everyone in this situation sounds like they belong on Jerry Springer. This surprises you? By nothing to do with their lifestyle choices do you mean never put it in her because I dont think we make men pay child support to women they have not had sex with. Its crazy how much abject hatred there is out there. And at 40 years of age, he should know how babies are made and if he didnt want kids, maybe he should have considered getting snipped? -Wants nothing to do with his own child. iseeshiny So he had no obligation to her whatsoever. So while you were on a break he had unprotected sex with just her or other people too? Painted_lady Since you obviously cant formulate a cogent argument on the merit of these laws in response to my questions (as it doesnt interest you), I wonder why you keep going out of your way to engage this conversation. Im an okder Dude but thats what we used to do. He might very well be an immature asshole. I make no exception for men or women. Im a 29-year old mother of two children, and I was in a relationship for 4 years with a man (not the father of my kids), and he has a daughter from a previous relationship as well. April 9, 2012, 11:40 am. But hes no knight in shining armor because he is willing to bare some legally minimal level of responsibility. But I dont see anything in the letter that means he must be.. Whats your personal experience with forced fatherhood, no say over an abortion or crippling child support? And a grown adult man is well aware of this system when he chooses to have sex. They can both make a choice but only Susie must physically implement the plan. Just sayin. We decided to get back together as we cant bear life without each other. A forty year old man who can be tricked into believing that intercourse, with birth control or not, cannot lead to a baby is an idiot. I think this would cut down on a LOT of baby mama drama with regards to accusations of women getting pregnant on purpose or trapping me with a baby. Because no matter how much we feminists on here hate that bullshit, it DOES happen. I dont knowMaybe Im looking at this from the perspective of being an adopted child or having witnessed a friends situation, but I dont think this guy is the worlds worst person like everyone else (but hes still an asshole). And that isnt fair either. No. It is never the unborn childs fault. Steve Kellmeyer Dont engage in the action. According to DeCrow, he shouldnt even have to pay child support, because thats fundamentally unfair. Hes an idiot either way. Tristan Is Expecting a Baby With a Woman He Allegedly Cheated on Khlo You mean, a man shouldnt be able to decide to throw money at his child, but never once be involved whatsoever in the childs life?. Welp, he didnt run after you, and instead he ran to another woman for comfort and now she is pregnant. 1. I-RIGHT-I Hes scum all around in my book. Shortly afterward we learned that he got the other woman pregnant. Respect her decision. Hi. When its the woman who will suffer the consequences, its the woman who should be vigilant. Bless her heart. And how can you be mad at the woman? female The laws are unfair because they arent designed to be fair to the PARENTS- theyre designed to work in the best interest of the innocent child that didnt choose to be born. Id drop this guy in a heartbeat. Given that fact base, why wouldnt a woman who wanted a baby (but not a husband) entrap a suitable donor? This is usually created by one person chasing harder or desiring the person more. The letter implies that the only protection used was the birth control. She takes her pill every day at the same time. Itll be hard work, but I genuinely think it can be done. But the issue is when he decided not to pull out but bust a load into a strangerhe took on that risk of possibily having the responsibility to pay for a kid for the next 18 years. The sperm is genetically identical to the IVF doctors sperm, and it is the IVF doctor who impregnates the woman, even if he never has sex with her. 1. the baby is not your fault. Its when I disagree that I usually feel I want to write a comment. And Im also not passing judgements on him based on my preconceived notions about how the conversations went down. When two people opt to have not conceive by mistake but instead carry through to birth a child, they should be obligated to that child. April 9, 2012, 11:00 am. So I have a pretty positive impression of my biological father. What should I do if my boyfriend got another woman pregnant but - Quora I think the fact that he is angry at this woman for not having an abortion speaks loudly and clearly as to his character. He says he cant stand her? This is a great contrast to Wendys piece about Drew being a great husband/dad. No one has a condom, Lady says Its cool, Im on the pill and Dude says awesome, I already took my Viagra anyway, cant really run to the store. They bone. John Rohan Translation: men should think before they poke but women can do whatever they damn well please. submandave April 9, 2012, 11:23 am. Other times, breakups are not so obvious, and that can leave you questioning your decision. nurserie cerise et capucine we broke up and he got another girl pregnant.If your ex got married only months after the breakup, then something doesn't feel right.In most cases with my clients, the girl is wanting the guy . Freeze your sperm and get a vasectomy. Men cant choose to abort because biology dictates that the fetus is not in their body. April 9, 2012, 5:19 pm, Its easy to think the guy is a scumbag for not wanting to be a dad. If he suddenly decided to emotionally ditch this woman when she was five months pregnant or after the baby was born, Id been singing another tune. You can have a relationship with someone with a child but you have to be ready for it. Really, people. Is that fair, well no, but nine months of growing a baby inside you, followed with birth, breast feeding, ect isnt really an equitable way to split reproduction either. Oh, really? A scumbag? Then the day we got back from this amazing vacation, he broke up with me through email! But, are you willing to pay for his mistakes. Men should be held at least halfway responsible for the resulting pregnancy and child but should have no authority to decide upon his involvement. Pardon me, butare you fucking KIDDING me?! The fact that all this happened doesnt mean hes some despicable jackass. The choice to get pregnant was mutual. So for someone I love and care deeply about, its enjoyable. We dont know that she asked for any money. I'm very upset that my ex girlfriend got pregnant by her new boyfriend This is about a pregnancy thats two weeks in. Again, youre defending this guys right to have sex and that is absurd to me. I dont think its necessarily fair. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Oh, and I really dislike when every accidental pregnancy letter we get on here because a huge fest for people throwing around you were too stupid to use a condom or you didnt try to prevent pregnancy at all, when we really have NO information regarding what precautions they did or did not take. I think your maturity should absolutely, completely be judged against how you react when life throws you unexpected thingslike an unplanned pregnancy. Out of my 5 closest friends only one isnt a fan. But, they both had lawyers. Run. I know youre just trying to tell us that the little scroat wont be able to trap him, buttttt it looks like you cant hold onto him either? lets_be_honest April 10, 2012, 8:54 pm. I dont think you are right to try to make him stay with her. If you want to hold this poor man responsible for some child some women decided to create, thats just mean and patriarchal crap. Nope, none of it matters. If the baby mama wants to keep the baby, its her decision. That wont solve anything. April 10, 2012, 12:45 pm. April 9, 2012, 9:19 pm, Note I said 99% of PEOPLE in that situation, not women. Because she accidentally got pregnant with his child? I see no reason why the mother in this scenario cannot be a great parent who can explain, in a way that doesnt hurt them or damage their self-worth, why they were put up for adoption [or only have one parent involved], SpaceySteph lets_be_honest She cant afford a child on her own. Likewise, you could find a wealth of men who paid for children who werent theirs. Hes decided on what hes going to do, and it does not involve you. My heart broke into a million pieces. He gets a girl pregnant and then tells her to get rid of it because its an inconvenience for him to have to deal with it? I asked him why and never got a response back, ever. And hes 28. Barely nine months after we said our final goodbye, he was the father of a baby boy. Part of the reason I feel no one should be forced to be a parent is that those who are forced to be parents often cause the most lasting damage to the children. It's been really painful for me. I mean sure I can relate to the horrible emotions one gets about thinking that their guys (even if hes an ex at this point!) No loss there. Hes a scumbag and your only choices are (1) say so now and be rid of him, or (2) wait 5 or 10 years and say Why didnt I see this 5 or 10 years ago? By then you may be after him for child support yourself, and good luck with that therell be at least one in line ahead of you every payday. Youre taking something he is saying pre-child and assuming that it is the reality of what will happen post-birth. April 10, 2012, 9:34 am. If I got pregnant by a guy who begged me to have one, I would tell him if he doesnt want this child he can just fuck off and I will raise him/her but I will not kill my own child for him. Youre never going to persuade crazy, but other people reading can maybe read something interesting without getting too turned off by the insanity of one side. reader, TELLULAH+, writes (25 January 2008): A But it is a dickish move to get someone pregnant and then decide youre not going to be involved in that childs life. I DO think its completely absurd to be furious with someone else however when you become a parent after choosing to do the exact thing that can cause pregnancy. Until thats legally extended as you propose any man who doesnt exercise that option has no one to blame but himself when he becomes a parent. Now? Or, hey, maybe they were both tested, maybe they were both clean, and maybe he believed her, and maybe she actually was on the pill. I know, right? Ill have mine draw up the paperwork for licensing fees. If your girlfriend complains that you never take . Women have figured that game out, and it sucks. Model Mustang. LW: When I started reading this letter I was prepared to tell you to MOA, but by the end I decided that you and your boyfriend sound like equally shitty people! Dont force him to be. Just sayin. I have no idea why you two took a break if you cant live without each other, but honestly, neither one of you is mature enough to be in a committed relationship. 60+ years on this ball-o-dirt and witnessing the madness going on around this place, as well as being an honest-to-God Christian. He found someone relatively fast and quick, and jumped in the bed with her. I would love, just ONCE on this site, for one of the male commenters to address shitty man behavior. Ok, so this dude: It belongs to the child and the law is concerned with ensuring the best interests of the child above all else. He has an obligation to use condoms until he is in a committed relationship to prevent unwanted pregnancy and to prevent HIMSELF from contracting an STD (and thus spreading it around). Yes, the language in the letter is certainly. -Is furious with her for keeping her baby iseeshiny Scenario 2. Being on the Pill is akin to saying that youre not interested in having children, so I think its not completely invalid for him to assume she wasnt ready to have children, and to be angry when he ends up being forced into fatherhood.. You seem upset at biology that women are the ones that carry the children and and therefore has the ability to decide or not to continue on with a pregnancy whereas a guy doesnt have that same right. Thats all I can really offer. Eh, he knows where babies come from and there are plenty of ways to have an amazing sexual experience that absolutely cannot result in anyone getting pregnant. If the woman is not required to support a child Consider that this is the kind of guy that has casual sex with people he doesnt really know/like while on break from a relationship with someone he cant live without. I thought you were disputing the comments about it being not that contagious by disclosing that you were HIV positive. exactly hes allowed to not want to be a father, but be smarter about birth control. Kansas City, Missouri. Of course, there are adjustments to be made, but babies do not mean that all other relationships become secondary. That support is not hers. She looked enough to bang, though, huh? April 10, 2012, 10:24 am. CollegeCat Id like to hear your explanation as to why that should not be the case. If you support legal abortion, then you emphatically deny that men create children. He slept with a woman he believed to be on the pill. Shortly afterward we learned that he got the other woman pregnant. Kind of sounds like it was written by an extremely immature middle aged woman. I dont agree with it, but the beauty of being an American is we both get to have our views. These are very common questions going through a guy's mind when he finds out his ex had a baby with someone else and now wants him back. I dont think a woman should ever have to have an abortion, but if the father decides early on that he doesnt want the child, I think he should have the same rights to get out of it as the woman does. I dont doubt that Sure Baby, I love you. In many states men can declare themselves non-fathers. One is right next to me . If the guy just walked away and contributed nothing, then that would be exactly akin to most adoptions, which, essentially, just mean letting someone else take care of your child. Furthermore, dont tell me what to do with my body and I wont tell you what to do with yours, little girl. I think this is a very fair and reasonable response, I wonder if she will think so too. Oh, may be you should marry him and fantasize what kind of fun he is having whenever hes late coming home, or fearful he would leave you when you, like that woman, passed 40; or be told to get rid of your baby who is inconvenient to him. But she can also at any time change her mind and he has no recourse. Briana DeJesus. by Kara Straight May 11, 2018. Generally it turns into a bunch of bleeps. A forty year old man should know that once is all it takes to handcuff himselfto someone for the next 19 years or so. I dont know why you dont understand that people think this guy is a scum, because he has said that he is going to be a deadbeat dad, and is pretty much taking no responsibility for what happened. April 9, 2012, 12:23 pm. April 10, 2012, 7:25 pm. Offers may be subject to change without notice. Im not saying I think he should get any sort of say in it, but why are we so quick to deride his emotional response to an accidental life-altering event that, in his mind, could have been corrected, but isnt going to be due to someone elses decision? You want to work on your social skills. People are calling the LW names (harsh names to be sure) based on the way she is reacting in this letter. The problem is not the other woman, the problem is your man and how you are responding to everything. Which is funny, since weve been telling right wingers that all along. Doesnt matter if they took every precaution to design the worlds best bottle. The pull out method? Furthermore, why does this child need two parents? I mean, I know guys are suppose to stick up for guys, but come on.. Sue Jones Are you kidding? But if you are uninterested in a relationship with him because of his newfound drama then walk away sister. I think its dispicable that you would consider re-uniting with a man that thinks his only obligation as a father is financial support. Still, if I were the LW and I saw my newly reunited BF acting this way about his soon to be born child, Id get the heck out of there. Your body, your choice; however, your choice, your problem. BC. Thanks for listening to me. April 10, 2012, 7:21 pm. She will be lucky to have 50% of the day care costs alone paid for*. I think we need to take a poll. AndreaMarie reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): A Funny, he only came back to you after he found out the other girl was pregnant. We tried to explain to my friend who isnt a fan how giving a blow job can make you feel empowered and sexy at the same time. Francine Change the subject and attack is not debate and makes you look pathetic. My ex-boyfriend had apparently broken up with a girl who was a.. You had no say in the matter.. wife pays debt sex video. The rest of us enjoy it, I think people dont give the blow job enough credit. Which includes emotional support, not just financial. Any advice for me?Signed, AnonymousDear Sis,News Flash: This man is not and has never been your man. Courts are loath to do anything but joint custody unless one of the parents is an absolute idiot. When I was on the pill, my ex boyfriend STILL used condoms to make sure it was safe. Furthest from the vagina, just saying. Youre right, what your life has become isnt fair- to anyone involved. Oops this was meant as a reply to Steve up there! I think, Chuck, what she meant was that no one is forcing these men to impregnate strangers. And because a mans physical committment to the pregnancy ends after coming, the woman gets to make the call. Absolutely BOIL. Is this a schtick or do you genuinely dislike women? Hes not a victim, unless she raped him.

Isaiah 45:3 Tpt, Brandon Wahlberg Net Worth, Substitute For Suze Liqueur, Iu Basketball Radio Stream, Send Throttling In Journey Builder, Articles W